Overheard

After arranging and rearranging so all the dirty dishes would fit into the dishwasher...

Lu: I like Tetris better.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Conversation

After being given the option of going to church or the chores she will be expected to do instead:

Lu: That's not fair!
Me: Well, you can just come to church, and you won't have to do the chores.
Lu: Fine, I think I will!
Me: Ok.
Lu: But you can't force me to pay attention!

Wordless Wednesday

Conversation

Violet: Mom, stop! You're embarrassing me.
Me: It's required of parents to embarrass their children.
Violet: No, it's not.
Me: Yes, it really is. In fact, when you decide to become a parent, you have to take a parent test. One of the last questions is, "Are you willing to embarrass your children?" If you don't answer "yes", then you don't pass the test and you can't have kids.
Violet: (pause) Really???

Wordless Wednesday

A Choice Has Been Made

Thank you to everyone who left comments to help me choose one of my photos for the photography contest at work. The theme is "What I Am Thankful For", and must be accompanied by why you are thankful about what is depicted in the photograph.

I had folks in three different places list their favorites, and the winner was the leaf. The text I included with it was:

"The cycling of the seasons reminds me that there is an elegance throughout every stage of life. I am thankful that autumn leaves provide such beauty to the world, in life and in death."

I'll update you if I manage to win this year! :)

Wordless Wednesday

Need Help, Please!

There's a photo contest at work, and I have no clue which one I should enter. If y'all would be so kind as to help me out, please scroll down a bit until you see "Jello Flavors" on the right-hand side, and then choose "Photography" to bring up my photos. I'm trying to narrow it down to just one from all the photos I've taken since last November until now. (You'll need to click on "Older Posts" to move backwards in time.)

I'm completely indecisive about which one I should enter.

Help?

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Poindexter Award

I made this for Suldog, who can do the Timewarp. Again.

Rules: You can only give it to 42 other people.

Let us all now bow in reverence to his geekiness, Suldog!

Top Ten Reasons Why I Qualify For Geek Status

1. During my teenage years, my bedroom was plastered in Star Trek posters.
2. I attended science fiction conventions. And loved them.
3. I hold a degree in Computer Science.
4. Sudoku is relaxing.
5. I have a bunch of acronyms after my name.
6. I know the answer to Life, The Universe, And Everything.
7. I've used polyhedral dice to resolve random events.
8. I taught myself to program in BASIC when I was 11 years old. Over the summer. Because I was bored. And it was a Star Trek program.
9. I understand this joke (and it makes me laugh): There are 10 types of people-- those who understand binary, and those who don't.
10. Just ask my kids. They'll tell you.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Overheard

At my parent's yard sale:

Dad: (sitting in a chair looking down)
Older Man: So how do your hearing aids work?
Dad: (looking up) What's that?
Older Man: How do your hearing aids work?
Dad: Oh, really good!

Overheard

When leaving an outdoor concert:

Little Boy: Is it finally over?
Mom: Yes.
Little Boy: Oh, good! My legs are SO bored!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Google Searches

I like to check every so often to see what search phrases put my blog in the Top 10 on a Google search.

You will find me if you go searching for "watermelon butts". Seriously, who knew people actually searched for this?

My current favorite search that lands you here is: "warped sense of humor". Oh, yeah baby!

And finally, my public service announcement is number two on the charts: noreply-comment@blogger.com. If you haven't already fixed your email so I can respond directly to you, I would love it if you would do so!

I'm still very busy with Real Life, but will probably be back to mere normalcy once school starts. Maybe.

Wordless Wednesday

From My E-Mail

Friend: My niece got a book about Sarah Palin for her birthday. I'm not sure, but I think it ended after two and a half chapters.

Heard At The Family Party Yesterday

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, but I don't know how they got in there in the first place!

Wordless Wednesday

Overheard

While shopping at Costco, near the cell phone kiosk:

Woman: I have had lots of problems with this particular phone.
Woman: (accidentally drops phone on floor)
Salesman: Seems that might be your problem right there.

Wordless Wednesday

Conversation

While hiking this morning:

Me: Now this is my kind of church!
Ron: Amen.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Here's What I've Been Up To Lately

In case you cared. :)

Letterboxing Utah

I've been spending a lot of time carving rubber stamps lately. As in I've-been-losing-sleep lots of time...

If you don't letterbox, you should. It's a really fun hobby. :)

Speaking Of Warped Senses Of Humor

If you haven't seen this blog yet, you should go read:

My First Dictionary

Reason #32,566 I'm going to hell in a handbasket. I loooooooooove this blog!

I Probably Have A Warped Sense Of Humor

But I found this hilariously funny yesterday.

Wordless Wednesday

Today's Quote

Kayla: If people from Utah are called "Utahns", what are people from Tampa called?

Summertime

Summertime means no time to blog. Or read blogs. So as far as the blogging world goes, I suck all the time during the summertime.

But today I will leave you with a summertime moment in my house:

Me: (getting ready to slice the end off a watermelon)
Me: Kayla! Come here!
Kayla: (comes into the kitchen and sees what I'm doing)
Kayla: Yay! You know I love the butt of watermelons!

Wordless Wednesday

Optical Illusion

I saw this today, and thought it was freaking cool. :)

Regardless of what your brain tells you, the only colors in the following are:

Pink
Orange
Green


Don't believe me? Pull it into Photoshop and see for yourself. I'm totally geeking out over here.

Skinny Grandmas

I was talking the other day with my best friend Carol. She recently had a baby, and has been losing weight and skinny-ing down very nicely as of late. We talked about weight, and how our bodies aren't so inclined to drop it easily, etc.

She was telling me about how she had put on those extra pounds to begin with-- her hubby, nice guy that he is, would bring home all kinds of yummy ice cream for her. And the weight creeped on. And it started me thinking-- my hubby does the same types of things whenever I drop weight. Ice cream. Desserts. Fattening foods.

I am wondering now if there's something unconscious in a guy's brain that wants to fluff up their women a bit.

Women, when they start to reach middle age, begin to plump out naturally. The body is trying to make more fat cells in preparation for menopause (fat cells can convert and send out estrogen to the body).

Then I realized something-- skinny grandmas look weird. Bony grandmas tend to be an anomaly. Grandmas, by nature, should have soft padding for grandbabies to snuggle up to.

Society tells us a different story. Something is wrong with you if you aren't a size 8. Trying to reach that "goal" is probably more harmful to my body than helpful at this point (low estrogen levels suck). It's much better to concentrate on eating healthy and exercising regularly, and allow my body to naturally move to where it wants to be.

So today I am happy to report that the way things are currently headed, I will NOT be a skinny grandma. :)

Overheard

While getting my hair cut yesterday, a little boy (about 3 years old) was there with his daddy, getting his hair cut.

Boy: What's your name?
Hairdresser: Jane.
Boy: Why do you work here?
Hairdresser: I like cutting hair.
Boy: What's your phone number?
Hairdresser: 555-1212.
Boy: 1, 2, what again?
Daddy: Wow, you sure are a nosy boy today!
Boy: (indignant) I am NOT a pussy boy!

(all the adults burst out laughing in the salon)

Daddy: (embarrassed) I promise, he did not learn that at home!

R.I.P. Ed McMahon

Random Tuesday Thoughts

We're back! And very, very tired... so you're gonna get a theme meme about a theme park today.

We all got sucked into the world of Disney pin trading. I got some awesome ones, including a Toy Story Alien, the evil Malificent, and a "Do Not Disturb" door hanger for the Tower of Terror's "The Hollywood Hotel".

Here's the four girls in the theatre, waiting for the stage production of "Aladdin" to start. (And if you are ever in Disneyland/California Adventures, you HAVE to go see this...)


Overheard on the shuttle bus going to Disneyland:
Mom to 2-year old girl: Janie, would you like to come over here and sit by me?
Older sister to 2-year old girl: Don't fall for it!

Ron is 6'2", and still had to stretch to high five Sully. :)

I ran into an old friend from college while at Disneyland! We haven't seen each other in over 15 years. We found out we were both there at the same time because of our FaceBook updates. LOL!

Favorite rides at California Adventures: Tower of Terror and California Screamin'. The latter is probably the smoothest coaster I've ever ridden, and is just plain FUN to ride.

Favorite new ride: Toy Story Midway Mania! in California Adventures.

Favorite rides at Dizzyland: Splash Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean, and The Haunted Mansion. I find it rather strange that Splash Mountain, one of the main ride attractions at Disney, is based off a movie you can't even get ("Song of the South"). Go figure.

We also went to the beach for an afternoon. It was Jak and Nikki's first time at the ocean! Doesn't Nikki look like she's having a blast in the waves? :)

A half hour into our long drive home, the check engine light came on. Thankfully, we were traveling back in the afternoon, and found a Jiffy Lube to diagnose the computer code for us. I googled the code on my Blackberry, and we figured out that we needed to tighten our gas cap. Yes, really. I guess if it's not on tight enough, something happens to the emission vacuum positron electron gasitron whoknowsitron thingamajig, causing an air leak. And causes you much stress until you figure out you don't need to worry about it.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

I remember the first time my oldest daughter slept 6 hours at one shot during the night. I woke up in a panic, and had to check to see if she was still breathing.

Unpacking moving boxes is worse than packing them. When you unpack, you find things that make you say, "Why the heck did I pack this in the first place?!?" And you always find crap other than what you’re searching in all the boxes for, even if you do write on the outside of them what’s contained inside…

Yesterday morning, I watched a hot air balloon land in the employee parking lot at work.

I use my mom’s tactic whenever the kids say they’re bored… “Ok, if you’re bored, go clean your room.” “I have some weeding that needs done in the flower bed.” “How would you like to go mow the lawn?” They quickly learn not to whine to me about being bored.

I wish I was independently wealthy so I could travel anywhere in the world, whenever I wanted.

On Saturday, I attended a Utah Blogger Lunch hosted by Kristina. (Thanks, Kristina!) It was a lot of fun meeting new bloggers. I did get to see an old friend, Jen at Steenky Bee. Her hair preceded her up the stairs. It was awesomesauce!

And somewhere in the neighborhood of 3am tonight (tomorrow morning?), we're headed out to sunny southern California to get Disney-fied. See you next week!

38

I’m 38 years old right now.

It’s a good age, I think, old enough to not make the same old mistakes (mostly), and young enough to still have many good years left (to make new mistakes). I have many plans for the future, including going back to school, traveling the world, and holding grandbabies someday.

When I was a young 20, my wonderful brother-in-law was 38. I expect he felt the same way about his life as I do now. However, at 38, he had a major challenge put in front of him-- he was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

The last time I saw Don was when the nurse shaved all the hair off his head, in preparation for the surgery to remove the invasive tumor. He never made it off the operating table alive. I would never again see his easy grin, his even easier laugh, and experience his gentle demeanor.

38.

So young.

I received word yesterday that a good friend I worked with for many years had passed away.

She was 38.

After over 10 years of sobriety, she succumbed to her alcohol addiction. Her body could no longer handle the ravages of alcoholism.

The last time I saw Jenny was while she was still sober. She had just finished with her Bachelor’s degree, had lost a significant amount of weight, and was ready to take on the world. I will never receive another hug from her, have her make me laugh until my sides hurt, or see her beautiful smile again.

38.

So young.

Today, I contemplate my 38 years. What have I done with them? What do I want to do with the years I (hopefully) have ahead of me?

Life is short.

Love.
Experience.
Give.
Receive.
Cherish.
Make a difference.
Stop to appreciate the little things.

May we all lead long and interesting lives, full of happiness and good things.

Wordless Wednesday

Random Tuesday Thoughts

My kids used to love to eat broccoli when they were little-- it wasn't until they were older that they learned the true name of the veggie they loved... up until then, they only knew it as "baby trees".

The correct way to hang toilet paper on the roller is with the paper coming OVER the top.

My work wants to turn me into a popsicle. Why on earth do they need to run the air conditioning at 65 freaking degrees??? I’m colder in the summer than I am in the winter.

I lived in a small town in Nevada that had a yearly "Cantaloupe Festival", complete with cantaloupe ice cream and a cantaloupe eating contest. However, it seems that the economy has proven to be near fatal with the festival continuing this year: Festival in Limbo This is bad news, folks…if you’ve ever lived in a small town, you understand the implications of canceling a festival of this magnitude. It’s one of the highlights of the year out in the middle of Nevada! How will people go on?

As a child, I used to be so confused when my parents would talk about how fast time came and went. How fast we were growing up. From my perspective, it was taking FOREVER to get big. Now that I'm a parent, I understand all too well how quickly time flies by. And it seems to get faster every year!

Morning Glory Natural Bridge

Yesterday, I was tagged by Bex over at Adventures of the Grigg Boys. My mission was to go to my picture folder and pick the sixth picture from the sixth folder. In doing so, I found this photo from our camping trip in April:


This is the south-ish side of Morning Glory Natural Bridge near Moab, Utah, looking up from underneath. The full span of this arch is 243 feet, so that gives you an idea of why my camera could only grab part of it as I stood below.

And the other side:
One of these days, I'm gonna get me a fish-eye lens so I can take full length pictures of arches from directly underneath.

I'm supposed to tag six people to do this meme, but as usual, I'm a rebel. If you want to be tagged, go for it. Please leave me a comment if you decide to do it so I can be sure to stop by your place and take a peek.

Mission accomplished!

Wordless Wednesday

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Once, in college, we got an obscene phone call at the house. So my roomie and I grabbed a copy of "The Purity Test" and started reading the questions to him one by one. When we reached the one that read 'Have you ever made an obscene phone call?', he couldn't keep up the heavy breathing anymore and just burst out laughing.

Growing up, the only sports I regularly participated in were clumsiness and sprains. And I was GOOD.

I’ve had the same stupid song stuck in my head for almost two months. I find myself whistling it when I get up in the morning, and catch myself humming it while I work. And even when I get up in the middle of the night to pee, it’s coursing through my brain. What song is it, you ask? It’s the theme song to the animated cartoon television show “Arthur” on PBS. Please, shoot me now.

Few things satisfy like a really good poop.

The Totally Awesome Bakery should NOT be on my way to and from work. It is far too tempting to stop and get a chocolate-chip shortbread cookie made with real butter. They melt in your mouth. And they won’t give me the recipe!

Costco is seriously deadly to my paycheck. It has been my favorite store since I was a kid (I grew up in Washington). I remember when things were packaged in clear plastic bags (no retail packaging) and stacked on folding leg style tables. And when you checked out, there was a “caller” and the cashier. The caller could tell you the inventory numbers of just about everything in the store, too, right off the top of their head. (Anyone else remember those days?)

Once when I was making breakfast, 5 out of 8 of the eggs I cracked had double-yolks. Is that freaky, or what? I should have taken a picture.

Text Message Received

Heehee


(Kayla found a beaded ring at a store and put it to good use!)

Texting Conversation

Lu: :( save me!!!
Me: From what?
Lu: From dying of boredem
Me: I think you'll survive. LOL
Lu: I dunno i'm running out of air and i don't think I'll live much longer!!
Me: Uh huh. Yeah. Well, I'll pick up your bored body on the way out.
Lu: You're willing to let your ungrateful daughter die?!?! How could you?!
Me: Because I'm cool like that.
Lu: Nope! You're just a mean mom
Me: You know it! :)

Heads UP

My neighbors down the road seemed to have a bit of a problem the other day:


Notice the size of the car and the house next to the tree... yes, it was really that big. And that's not the amazing part:


Yes, that's a LIMB of the main tree that came crashing down. And, yes, that's a full-size telephone pole in the photo next to the tall, tall tree...

Where I Went On Memorial Day

We needed some landscaping rocks (I love being able to relocate pieces of our beautiful mountains to be displayed in our yard!), so I got a permit from the BLM to go gather rocks from West Mountain near us. We spent a few hours on Memorial Day loading up the trailer and truck with views like this around us:




Beautiful day, beautiful views, beautiful weather... what more could you ask for?

Wordless Wednesday

Random Tuesday Thoughts

It's Tuesday already? Where did the rest of the week go? Two posts ago, I was tossing out Random Thoughts... which means I either had a week of boringness, or a week of busyness.

One of the problems with having a Monday holiday is that you spend the rest of the week trying to figure out what day it is. Your week equilibrium gets knocked out of whack.

What is it in our minds that tells us that it is weird if "old people" have a dirty sense of humor? Is it that whole "my parents NEVER have sex" mentality? :)

The governor of Utah, John Huntsman, accepted an Obama-nomination (ha! I love how those sound together…) to be the new ambassador to China. Awesome pick, if you ask me, since Gov. Huntsman knows Mandarin already. And since he’s a savvy businessman, he’ll be very, very smart where business relations are concerned. (And then I fully expect him to run for President in 2016.)(You saw it here first!)

I want a live-in maid, like Alice on “The Brady Bunch”. She would be at home all the time, except one night a week when she would go bowling with Sam. All meals prepared, house kept spotless…

I won a lottery ticket over at Sprite’s Keeper. Since I live in a no-gambling state, I’ve never had a scratch ticket before. When the ticket arrived, I felt particularly sinful as I scratched the stuff off to see if I was a winner. And Utah influence ruled—I was not a winner. Sniff. (Now I know where the phrase “scratch and sniff” comes from.)

And now I have to get back to a workday I'd rather not have... Tuesdays after holiday weekends are always awful. Sigh.

Wordless Wednesday

Random Tuesday Thoughts

I must be doing something right in the parenting department if my teenager says to me, “You’re looking particularly nerdy this morning.” My transgression? Wearing socks that cover my ankles. I’ve warned my daughter that someday she, too, will be Completely Uncool to her children. She doesn’t believe me. But then again, when I was 16, I vowed that my kids would never think I was out of style or old. Ha! Her turn is coming…

Middle School is hell on earth.

The older I’ve gotten, the more life has taught me. I think that’s called “wisdom”. Now I just need to put more of that hard-earned experience into action on a daily basis.

I wish I had some pics of some of the girls in my high school who had these most amazing bangs... they stood straight up from their foreheads. We used to call them "surf's up!" bangs. And it was just the bangs-- the rest of the top of the hair was flat. I thought it was weird even in the era of big hair.

When Ron and I announced to the kids that we had eloped, Violet (then 8) said, “But… you’re a beautiful swan! And he’s a hairy moose. Swans and moose don’t breed!”

Forgiveness

Yesterday's lesson at church: forgiveness.

Some lessons you hear over and over again at church-- and I think those are the ones we need to pay attention to the most. Forgiveness is definitely one of those.

Things I've learned about forgiveness over the years:

• It's not about them. It's about you.
• If you cannot forgive someone else, how can you expect the atonement to work for you?
• Most people on this earth are reasonable people. If you are wronged in some way, it was most likely by a reasonable person. So ask yourself-- why would a reasonable person do this? After all, we've done our fair share of hurting others without meaning to.
• Forgiveness is a process. Plant the seed, and nurture the growth within you.
  
• Forgiving is not necessarily forgetting. As a friend of mine once stated, "I choose not to be around that person so they will not have the opportunity to sin against me again." :) You can forgive, yet still protect yourself from further harm.
• We judge others based on their actions towards us. We judge ourselves based on our intent. We need to give others the benefit of the doubt and assume that their good intentions didn't work out the way they had planned.

This was a good lesson, given at a time I desperately needed to hear it again to work through some issues with my ex-husband. Even though he committed suicide almost 3 years ago, I can still forgive him for the aftermath he left me to deal with. It is time to really work on letting it go.

I am tenderly watering the seed that was planted yesterday.

Texting Conversation

Me: What's your favorite animal? :)
Ron: i would have to go with a dog, some breeds more than others, and only the ones that don't keep me awake at night.

15 minutes later....

Ron: Now that i have had a little more time to think i will have to say you are. ;)

Huh?

Sign posted at an area hospital:

Texting Conversations

Kayla: My neck hurts
Me: Mine, too. Maybe we have the Swine Flu!
Kayla: Its the giraffe flu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lu: I just had my first kiss ^_^
Me: Whoohoo! Was it nice? :)
Lu: It was slobbery ^_^
Me: He'll learn. He's new at it, too. :)
Lu: No because he was going for a cheek but i kissed him on the lips. Then he kind of ran away ^_^
Me: Scaring him off, eh? :)
Lu: Lol yeah. Then he ran off and told the closest friend near him and he ran off to tell vicki and by tomorow I'll be the new gossip of the school ^_^
Me: How many demerits do you think you'll get for that? LOL
Lu: Lol NONE CAUSE NO ONE SAW!! MHHAHAHAHA!!!! :-) lol

Wordless Wednesday

Random Tuesday Thoughts

I love to respond personally to people’s comments, but so many of you haven’t set your account up properly so I can do that. Read my earlier post on how to fix this, please? I don’t want to seem like I’m ignoring you!

Once I got to ride on a plane that had capacity for 12 people. There was one seat on each side of the plane, with an aisle so little you had to sashay sideways down the teensy corridor to get to your seat. And then you spent the whole flight with your head sideways because the ceiling curved around your head starting just above shoulder level. The co-pilot handed out earplugs to the passengers, which did not block out anywhere near enough of the noise. I was deaf for 2 days after getting off that plane.

I’ve never diagrammed a sentence.

As a kid, I had a basement bedroom. I wanted a fireman’s pole from the family room to the basement SO BADLY.

I used to have really bad eyes, like legally blind bad eyes. I got Lasik a few years back, and now I get to participate in the daily miracle of waking up and being able to *see*.

I've been busy this weekend. My best friend delivered her sweet baby girl, and named me the godmother. Wow. And she sure is a cutie! I was honored to be her doula, and watch the miracle of birth once again.

My girls made me breakfast on Mother's Day... at 5:00pm. :)

Wordless Wednesday

Random Tuesday Thoughts

I always get a kick out of adults that feel the need to announce that they’re going to use the restroom. I think it’s a learned behavior from when they were little kids. It starts with the parent(s) repeatedly asking, “Do you need to use the potty?” and morphs into the kid doing his own announcing of, “I have to go potty!” I guess some people never outgrow certain things.

Learning not to give a flying rat's ass about what others think of you is VERY freeing.

Two days of banging my head against the desk talking to vendor tech support ended with ME fixing THEIR problem. So, so, so SO frustrating! It’s your product, folks, why don’t you know how to fix it?!?

Not too long ago, I made a trip to the local whack job survivalist bulk food store to buy a mondo bag of steel cut oats. While I was browsing around the shelves of #10 cans, filled with food supply goodness, I noticed one can emblazoned with the words, “Flavored Like Ham Chunks”. This sat right next door to its close cousin, “Flavored Like Chicken Chunks”. Gosh, that whetted the appetite right then and there!

I find it strange that when Influenza B ran rampant around here, nobody cared. Now, with a flu that’s not as virulent starting the rounds, people are FREAKED. OUT. They’ve closed down schools, people are wearing masks, and paranoia runs amok. Why didn’t they close down the schools when over half of the kids and teachers at my daughter’s high school were out sick with the seasonal flu? But they sure will now that ONE teen might have swine flu symptoms… Give me a break.

Life is made of moments. You have to treasure each one as you get it, and then put it gently down to move on to the next one.

I Want These SO Bad!

Pink Flamingo Lawn Ornaments

But the kids whined that they'd like to have friends over sometime...

Someday, dear neighbor.... someday.

Heard Today

People used to say, "We'll get a black president when pigs fly."

Well, swine flu.

Friday Fill-Ins

1. It's Friday, so it's time for the fill-ins I so bravely agreed to accept from Grant last week.

2. Who the flem figgins ate the last of the snargle %$#@! ice cream. I was saving that for me to eat after you all went to bed!

3. Adjustment on the roadster for time travel with another gizmo because of the botheration with the flux capacitor not withstanding. Great Scott!

4. I need to bungee jump off a hot air balloon and stockpile 5 years worth of TVP before the Giant Atomic Chickens™ destroy the world in accordance with glorious Satanic prophecy. But not because I believe in doomsday predictions, because that would just be silly.

5. Bunny: _____ (Note - this is a picture fill-in. Let me know if you are short on pictures of hot Asian women).

Well, Grant... I searched and searched, and found the perfect Asian bunny:

Awwwwww! So CUTE!