Nothing (And Yet Something) To Report

It's been a weird last few days. Lots of things happening in my life (Shandy wants to come home to visit for the first time in almost 2 years!)(Joy!)(Having to think about going to court-- again-- next week)($#@%!)(Kayla got burnt out on soccer, and isn't going to do club ball for awhile)(Mixed emotions)(Sick kids)(Not fun)(New part-time business actually going pretty darn good)(Yay!)(Went to Lana and Nate's wedding reception/Halloween party, which I still need to write about)(Fun time!)(Shandy turned 18!)(Am I old enough to have an 18 year old?)(Even though I'm exercising more than I ever have before in my entire life, I'm gaining weight and have a higher fat percentage)(Life is SO unfair)(Attended the last minute *mandatory* budget meeting at work, where we were assured that All Is Well In Zion)(Liars)(Attended nephew's birthday party and scared the crap out of a bunch of kids with my costume)(Bwahahahaha!).

But nothing really to blog about.

Mean Mom Strikes Again

I woke Shandy up at the usual 6:00am. She finally rolls out of bed close to 6:55am. Her bus comes just before 7:15am. Starting at 7:00am, she starts asking me about getting a ride to school. I let her know in no uncertain terms that I am not going to give her a ride, that she knows if she misses the bus, she gets to walk to school. She doesn't say anything else to me until after 7:15, when she does actually miss the bus.

Then the bargaining phase begins. "I'll do the dishes when I get home." "I'll wash the kitchen floor." "I'll clean the family room." "I'll clean the family room, the kitchen, and the front room." "Just tell me what you want me to do!"

"Shandy, what I want you to do is start walking to school."

"Mooooooooommmmm!!!! I can't be late!"

Ummmm... guess what, Shandy? I need to be on time for work, too. And I've been late to work over 10 times in the past 2 months because I've taken you to school due to you missing the bus. The last 5 times I agreed to the bargaining terms set out, and the last 3 of those times, you didn't fulfill your end of the bargain.

The lying starts. "Today is the orchestra tour. I'll miss the bus if I'm not on time!" I look at her and respond with, "Well, maybe you should have thought of that at 6am this morning when I woke you up." "But I didn't hear you wake me up this morning!" :::sigh::: "Shandy, we held a short conversation this morning after I woke you up."

Anger phase: "Fine! I'd rather stay home today than walk to school and deal with this!" as she yells and stomps down the hall. "So you're choosing to sluff school today, then?" I call after her.

Begging phase: "PLEASE!!! My knee hurts from paintballing this weekend, and I don't want to walk to school on it! I'll do *anything* if you'll just take me this morning!"

Guilt trip phase: "Why won't you do this? Why are you so horrible and mean? Why won't you at least let me pay for the gas like Mrs. Jones does for her boys when they miss the bus? Why won't you give me just one more chance? I promise it will NEVER happen again!" (The last two sentences are repeats of the past 5+ times she missed the bus.)

I sigh as I'm getting in the car to leave. "Shandy.... I am tired of having to be the one to bail you out because you choose to make poor time choices."

Parting shot: "But you're my MOM!" And the door slams.

Yes, Shandy... I *am* your mom. And as your mom, I want you to learn personal responsiblity for your actions. I want you to learn that every action (or inaction) has a consequence attached, either good or bad. I want you to learn how to be a good, functioning young adult who doesn't expect the world to cater to them and then be surprised when life doesn't work that way.

In other words, I love you. I want what is best for you. I hope someday you can see that.

I'm A Little Teapot

I lost my temper last night, probably the worst I've ever lost it. My patience limit was reached, breached, and overrun in a pretty bad way. I guess I let frustration rule...

Shandy pushed one too many of my buttons. I was tired of the war zone she creates in our home, I was tired of her blatant lying, I was tired of her stealing my and her sisters' things, I was just plain tired of all the contention and anger and disrespect.

However, there was some good that came out of the whole mess... she and I had a LONG talk afterwards. We discussed issues, aired a lot of grievances, and cleared up misconceptions. She has come to the realization that she probably could use some help re: counseling services. I pitched the idea of residential treatment to her (I've been checking into a local program here that looks very promising). She was amenable to the idea.

So we'll see how it goes... I think it would be very beneficial, and hope things work out that I can manage to afford it. The chance for her to 'escape' from her life and be able to work on herself and her issues in a therapeutic setting would be a wonderful opportunity.

Teen Logic

Shandy has been turning into quite a handful of a teenager lately. She's 15, thinking she's going on about 23, I would suppose.

Last night, she informed me which high school she will be attending next year. Period, end of story. Her best friend will be attending this school, which is what precipitated this whole thing.

My objections to her attending this high school are:

1. It is 40+ minutes from our house.... with no traffic. And that's rare.
2. She is counting on my brother giving her his old car (if and when he buys a new one sometime in the possible near future).
3. She is going to be paying for her car insurance and gas with a future job she is planning on getting after she turns 16.
4. In the meantime, she wants to get rides with her friend and friend's sister (who would be driving). Their house is currently up for sale, and the family wants to move closer to the other high school.
5. I have no way of getting her to and from this high school if she doesn't have a ride.

I have now been accused of trying to keep her from her friends and break them apart. (???) "I'm not stupid, you know... I know exactly what you're trying to do!"

Gotta love teen logic.