For the past year or so, I've been fairly unhappy with my approaching-middle-age-body. I've put on 40+ pounds since I was married 2 1/2 years ago (long story, but hormones are a huge player). I feel like a whale next to my skinny, wiry Ron. I think we look like Jack Sprat and Wife in photos.
So I had this very interesting experience happen to me the other day, while I was buying a new bus pass for Kayla. As I stood at the counter, waiting for someone to bring the pass, I had been looking up at the top shelf of various leftover Christmas items. My eyes caught the sight of a monitor, and I curiously looked at it to see who was being monitored.
I noticed a woman standing there, and the thought came unbidden to my mind, "She's pretty." Nice figure, not too skinny, not too fat. Cute hair.
And then it dawned on me.
It was me I was looking at in the monitor. It was one of those monitors that flip the image around, so the camera will film what is really happening, not a mirror image of things. And since I've only ever seen myself in a mirror image, the recognition of me didn't immediately happen.
I've been thinking ever since. That image in the monitor is how everyone else views me. How I'm really seen by the world. The person who looks back at me from the mirror is only how I see myself.
Since then, I've been reframing my mind to try-- really try-- to see myself as others do. Not just my physical appearance, but also my deeds, actions, and words. I learned a powerful lesson that afternoon-- and am now endeavoring to silence my inner critic that wants me to see what the two-dimensional mirror reflects back. I am far too multi-faceted to confine who I am to the reflection I see every morning.
It is time to break free.
Free Stuff Times Daily Summary
6 hours ago